What if sameness is a survival instinct?
On conformity, chaos, and the cost of fitting in.
Hello friends!
I felt compelled to write a longer letter to you, as we mark the near end to the first month of 2026. I’ve naturally been thinking a lot about the year ahead, as I like to set the tone for my year with one word to capture the momentum I hope for.
Intension is my word this year and nearly a month in, this theme feels ripe.
With every park walk, dinner date, and evening planned—I am intensional about the energy I’m expending and the people I’m spending it with.
I’m in a season of indulging in the comforts of familiarity: rekindling old friendships, returning to trusted confidants, with a handful of new relationships peppered in only if it’s energy giving.
Maybe it’s maturity. But it’s probably also a reaction to our current world. Let’s be real, its more than just world order that’s shifting. My sense is: the world is changing in ways that I don’t even think I, myself, can fully comprehend.
I spent hours scrolling and strolling this week, looking for birthday gifts— I felt a little unhinged. Whatever happened to brand visions and distinct tastes? Why does everything look the same these days?
We seem to be falling into a black hole of public taste. Filtered through algorithms, curated by AI and relying on the recommendation economy, everything feels infinitely the same. We are drowning in endless variations of similar things.
Brené Brown shares similar sentiment: we used to think that fitting in meant belonging—so we spent our youthful years doing everything we can to fit in. But, true belonging requires us to be truly ourselves, while fitting in requires us to abandon ourselves.
So, what if the urge to fit in—for sameness— isn’t only because of optimized algorithms? What if it’s a survival instinct triggered by the state of our world?
On Diary of a CEO, legendary motivational speaker and coach to some of the world’s most influential people, Tony Robbins, made an important distinction: people won’t lose jobs to AI—they’ll lose jobs to people who know how to use AI.
But what he’s worried about is the resulting identity loss that no one is talking about neither preparing for. Because jobs is no longer only about money—they’re also about meaning and identity.
Simultaneously, governments and world events are moving beyond predictable patterns. Systems and institutions we once relied on as goalposts for stability are now acting like wobbly quicksand.
So while people are abandoning corporate identities, losing trust in institutions, while navigating new realities and breaking up with the illusion of stability all at once—the ground we once thought we stood on feel more like a rug on a pile of flattened rubble, being pulled right from under us.
Here’s what my mind keeps coming back to:
As descendants of hunter-gatherers, our brains evolved to prefer certainty, especially when its absence meant life or death. Amongst chaos, predictability is a survival instinct.
The instinct is to conform when what’s beyond our control feels erratic. We naturally seek control elsewhere. So, what if the epidemic of sameness is a desperate plea for the only sense of stability that feels within reach: our lives, time, and identities.
Remote work, fractional work, and freelancing became avenues for exploration.
But what is identity anymore, if style, vision, and expression all look and feel the same? Isn’t uniqueness what makes us distinctly human?
Friend, I’ll admit I’m starting to doubt my own taste.
The tension I am sitting with is the instinct to conform and reach for what’s familiar. But what if the path to meaning and fulfillment isn’t to go with the herd but to move against it instead?
I’m reminded of Friedrich Nietzsche’s great intellectual contribution (to which I owe great expansion from): stray away from the herd, preserve individual instinct and lean on personal will. Advice from the 1880s that feels uncomfortably relevant today.
What if this crucible moment—this epidemic of sameness—is actually a call for us to tap into something deeper?
Not toward more conformity, but toward the one thing that’s always been ours to control: our agency towards ourselves. Our capacity to dig deeper within ourselves to find our own instincts when everything else feels uncertain.
This is why I am leaning into intension this year.
Why I’m choosing familiarity with people I trust. Why I’m protecting my energy and being selective about where I spend it. Creating predictability where I can, to give myself enough space to resist the urge to conform.
Because in such an unpredictable world, autonomy and personal agency become the most valuable currency.
Moving against the herd by resisting conformity, to create space for our hues—our unique expressions and distinct perspectives—become the most radical act of all.
Embracing your hue isn’t about being different for the sake of rebellion or standing out. It’s about embracing authenticity, with conviction—without doubt, guilt, or shame—for the sake of not falling behind.
Becoming more yourself becomes the non-negotiable.
Because what if the path to stability isn’t conformity but conviction?
What if real stability comes from knowing yourself so deeply, you trust your instinct without question? Even when everything external feels uncertain you've build a foundation strong enough within yourself to keep you anchored to what’s authentically yours.
The question becomes: will you abandon yourself for the comfort of fitting in—or will you create space to explore your hues?
Happy Hue is an independent newsletter. I write about the philosophy of creativity and well-being.