the third perspective, from self-censorship to managing compulsive addiction-like behaviors, what courage and resilience can look like in the age of AI and technology
070 | ANEWWITHHUE: A monthly Saturday listicle to spark joy, creativity, and curiosity.
Hi friends.
Here we are—the 70th edition of A NEW WITH HUE.
Those who’ve been with me know these editions have undergone its share of transformations and manic reinventions (but, let’s call it experimentations).
But, in a world heavy with violence, where hate and fear are seemingly circulating in the air, at the very least I hope these editions add spark to your day somehow. Each one, I hope, carries doses of hope and optimism—and something that delight.
There’s a phrase that’s become part of my vocabulary: hurt people hurt people. The inverse holds true too—healed people heal others. It’s difficult to hold on to hate when you’re abundant with love, joy, and healing, isn’t it?
If the metrics are telling me the truth, I’m grateful for every pair of eyes reading these words right now. I still flutter—equal parts nerves and excitement—knowing that there are real people (you!) who choose to spend your time with me. Thank you.
In a universe of endless, attention-grabbing content, I know returning to these monthly listicles demand intension, as this isn’t exactly light reading after all. Ha ha.
Yet you return, and for that I am deeply thankful. These editions are a labor of love so it brings me great joy knowing you keep coming back—that perhaps, in some small way, this adds something meaningful to your day. Curating for you has been a real joy and honor.
By the way, I have one last surprise that’ll be with you before we say sayonara to 2025, exclusively to subscribers only, and for my paying patrons, it’s even more of a treat for you, so stay tuned for that!
Let me kick you off with this playlist, of the last 25 tracks I liked on my Spotify, as a mixtape to the moods I ended the year with. Enjoy!
[I believe, the music we choose to listen to is a reflection to the condition of our souls.]
Podcast. A Slight Change of Plans. Therapist Meg Josephson vulnerably traces her journey from chronic people-pleasing—rooted in a chaotic upbringing—to reclaiming her authentic self. This conversation reveals how people-pleasing isn’t about “being nice” but a survival mechanism from childhood where emotional safety was unpredictable and love was conditional. While it feels safe, it leads to self-abandonment and burnout. Josephson’s practical tools: set boundaries without guilt. Tune into your needs. Accept that disappointing others is sometimes necessary—and not everyone will like you, and that’s totally OK. Something I’ve had to grapple with myself. Her pivotal shift came when she began asking: what do I actually want, feel, need—unfiltered by others’ expectations? This episode reminds us that we cannot control how others feel and perceive us, despite our sometimes desperate attempts. True healing means shifting from constant doing for others to being honest with ourselves. Notice anxiety as you overextend yourself. Set micro-boundaries. Journal using “I feel” statements, to help reflect honestly. Reconnect with childhood joys that existed before you learned to perform, and ultimately, it’s a call to abandon the exhausting dance for external approval and a reminder to return to an honest, more easeful way of living—one that’s truest to yourself.
Podcast. Hidden Brain. Psychiatrist Anna Lembke, author of “Dopamine Nation” reveals how addiction now extends beyond drugs to technology-enabled behaviors that overstimulate our brain’s reward pathways—disrupting the pleasure-pain balance our species never evolved to handle. Our ancestors sought rare pleasures; today’s abundance creates dopamine overload, emotional burnout, and addiction-like behaviors. The endless chase for novelty and instant gratification is rewiring our brains. Lembke’s solution: embrace limits, discomfort, and simplicity to restore balance and find true joy. Modern life bombards us with potent, novel stimuli constantly—triggering compulsive behavior, dopamine down-regulation, and rising anxiety and depression, especially in developed nations. The paradox: pursuing pleasure ultimately undermines well-being. The antidote: reduce overstimulation, recognize habitual triggers, and reconnect with simpler fulfillment—in healthy ways— to restore contentment. What the episode reveals, sometimes even innocent activities, that creates dopamine rewards, that you didn’t expect can become the source for overstimulation.
“We need dopamine not just for the experience of pleasure but also for the motivation to do the work to go get the reward.”
“Pain and pleasure are co-located in the brain, so the same parts that processes pleasure also processes pain and they work like opposite sides of the balance.”
Podcast. A Bit of Optimism. Have you noticed that work is no longer just work? Simon Sinek and Esther Perel explore how careers and romantic relationships have undergone historic transformation—shifting from duty, obligation, and hierarchy to the expectation of serving identity, choice, self-expression. Happiness was once viewed as a reward fitting for the afterlife, today, happiness is the goal and expectation. If jobs or partners don’t offer space for self-actualization, we feel entitled to leave. Yet technology enables us to also curate friction-less lives, avoiding awkwardness, conflict, and difference. Perel argues we’re forgetting essential human skills: how to “play” and interact. As it’s through encountering strangers do we build resilience, spontaneity, and trust. In the age of AI, “soft” relational skills become our only competitive advantage, as AI handles the technical skills. What the longevity and bio-hacking communities miss is, as we continue to optimize and engineer “frictionless” digital lives, we suffer social atrophy, losing our ability to navigate conflict and connect with strangers. Their conclusion: whether in love or career, relationships quality predicts life quality, so choose deep, messy human connection over efficient isolation instead.
