The Anti-Rules for A Meaningful Life
Because life's too short to live any other way.
As a fitness professional, I’ve watched January transform gyms into packed houses of ambition. Everyone kicks off the year determined to commit to some ridiculously ambitious new routine.
But here’s the thing: no need to panic-buy kale, gym memberships, or salads. If you’re honest, December 31st isn’t magically all that different to January 1st, August 3rd, or any other day in the year for that matter. Every morning, upon sunrise, each new day offers fresh opportunities to renew our commitments.
No matter how grand, or minute the task, every day is a new day to restart or make a change.
As sometimes the 'New Year, New You' mindset creates unnecessary pressure. While the initial rush of January motivation feels inspiring, perfectionism can hinder and end up setting ourselves for failure rather than sustainable progress.
(Remember: We have 365 days in the year. We’re only into the second week!)
Instead of New Year’s resolutions, I’ve embraced a different tradition. I prefer to reflect on the themes of progress that I want to carry forward rather than fixating on distinct and rigid goals.
I channel most of my energy into themes of growth I want to nurture and allow the specifics to sprout from there.
I am not saying this is the best way, neither will this work for all of us, but this is the method that’s worked best for me each New Year.
With that, I leave you 8 insights I am carrying forward into 2025:
There Are No Real Rules to Life. Our brains crave order and meaning, leading us to believe in universal rules that should apply to all eight billion people. We often even convince ourselves that our personal rules are superior and should be adopted by others. However, a one-size-fits-all approach to life is absurd. Life is deeply subjective, and the rules we choose to follow are ours alone—that’s what makes life amazing.
The possibilities a single life are open to are truly endless. While we may cause havoc and frowns by challenging others’ expectations of us. Even if we choose to walk alternate paths and live differently to most, as long as we aren’t harming anyone or acting with ill intent, the world is our playground to play on.
Stop Pretending, Start Living Your Truth. For years, I pretended to enjoy watermelon, a universally adored fruit. Yet every bite felt like glorified flavoured water masquerading as fruit. I persisted for decades—trying to fit in and please others—until one day I admitted: I don’t like watermelon. *I can feel the death stares already.*
As social creatures, we’re naturally tempted to live by the rules of others, because conformity brings acceptance. While humans long to belong, continuing to deny our truths cannot last. Eventually, your soul with scream so loud, and you realise that no amount of watermelons are worth losing your authenticity to. It’s easier to be than to pretend—the facade will break down eventually, so why not start now?
Be Liked for Who You Really Are. While it’s gratifying to be admired, ensure that people appreciate you for you, and not the curated version of you or the curated persona on your social media. I spent years shapeshifting myself to what I thought people wanted from me. I was severely insecure and unsure of who I was and who I wanted to be. I spent years fearing the rejection to show my real self, but then I realise that maintaining a false identity was exhausting me, so I did the obvious thing—I finally embraced my authenticity.
Embrace Contradictions. You can cherish solitude while also craving connection. You can be ambitious and also appreciate rest and recluse. While our minds seek simplicity, life is inherently complex. Observing the world around us, it’s easy to see that the universe is filled with contradictions—embracing and acknowledging this doesn’t make you inconsistent, it makes you human.
The world is not only black and white, it’s magenta, taupe, turquoise, maroon, and everything else in between too.
The World Doesn’t Owe You Meaning. Life lacks inherent meaning; any sense of meaning is subjectively experienced by each individual. We’re free to find purpose through our relationships, careers, creative expressions, interests, or simply by enjoying life’s journey, but the meaning of each life is not a given.
It’s up to us to create meaning in our lives, through how we choose to see and engage with the world. No two lives are the same, no set of values are identical—discovering what is meaningful to you is a personal endeavour that’s relies on you, and you alone. No one will be able to define for you what meaning is truest to you and your soul, because there’s no one in this world that knows you better than you.
You Are Your ‘You-est’ You. There is no one quite like you in this world. Accept this as an unwavering fact. You are a unique combination of your experiences, memories, and perspectives that shapes who you are. While those closest to you may know different facets of you, only you yourself fully understand the depths of you. Rather than seeking external validations, use interactions with others to reflect on and discover more of your truth. Embrace your quirks—everyone has them.
What makes humanity remarkable is how each person’s distinct combination of genes, experiences, and memories, creates a subjective experience of the world that we all share. Even your inner circle who may witness more parts of you are still inadequate at explaining the entirety of you. Your self-knowledge that’s waiting for you within yourself is superior to the knowledge anyone or anything can tell you about yourself.
Happiness Isn’t Always the Goal. While seeking happiness is one of the objectives of this newsletter, any pursuit, even joyful ones, can present excess. It’s misguided to expect constant joy and perpetual sunshine.
Down days are normal and expected. It’s what creates the contrast that makes the happy moments genuinely meaningful. If all moments were happy, then the emotion would lose its significance. Joy gains meaning through its contrast with those moments that lack it.
The Best Things In Life Are Often Inconvenient. Love, creativity, adventure, and profound growth rarely happen effortlessly. In fact, it’s often peppered with a lot of struggle and overwhelming challenges. Between the highs lie obstacles and lows. Whatever life presents to you, embrace the messy, unexpected, and inconvenient moments—no matter how painful or miserable—they often help to bring to light what matters most. There is no human life without suffering, no matter how idealistic our dreams want to reach. There’s plenty of wisdom to be gained through difficulty.
Questions to Reflect On:
What are some of the insights you’ve gained?
What are the wisdoms you want to carry forward?
Which new truths have you defined?
Which old truths have you refined?
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