Superficial vs Authentic Self Care | #THEHUE
Understanding the dark side to insecurity-driven well-being and how to navigate away from it.
Self-care has gained significant attention in this generation, with many embracing the positivity of working on your well-being and personal growth. However, amidst the wave of self-care routines, it is essential to acknowledge the other side of the coin– the dangers around self-care is one that’s fueled by insecurities, a sense of lack, and a relentless pursuit of perfection.
Your internal motivations shape your reality, influencing your choices and actions. When your self-care practices are driven by the genuine desire to achieve greater health and well-being, you’ll engage in behaviors that’ll align with your intentions. Whether it’s adopting a nourishing diet, engaging in regular exercise, or prioritizing rest, you’ll remain focused around the main driver of your actions: your overall well being.
However, when self-care is focused on external appearances, weight loss, and societal standards of beauty, this is where it can veer into dangerous territory. The pursuit of aesthetics at all costs, at the expense of your well-being, can lead to extreme behaviours that are ultimately detrimental. Starvation diets, excessive exercise regimes, and harmful comparisons become too irresistible as the underlying intention shifts from self-nurturing to seeking validation, acceptance, and perfectionism from how you look. With such goals, the insecure self can go to unimaginable lengths to achieve that goal, even if it compromises on your overall well-being.
The dark side of self-care is when it is driven by a sense of inadequacy and a feeling of not being enough. Such corrosive thoughts may cause a slippery slope into denial. The pursuit of well-being can disguise these unhealthy skews so well that it masks your behaviours as “healthy” habits.
This is why your ‘why’ matters a lot. Are you seeking personal growth to enhance your amazing self or are you trying to fill a void by succumbing to societal pressures, cultural measures, and unrealistic beauty standards? Are you aiming to improve your overall well-being or are you trying to ‘fix’ the things that are ‘wrong’ in you? Are you seeking acceptance or are you seeking belonging? As belonging can only happen when you are completely yourself. These answers matter a lot, in setting the context for sustained success over a lifetime and the strife toward optimal holistic health.
If you are struggling, know that it's not your fault. Our world is corrupted by a maddening amount of mix messages and misleading information. Whether, directly or indirectly, everything taken into consideration altogether will likely make you feel like you’re not enough. Whether perpetrated by the media, the food industry, or through our intimate networks, we’ve all been clouded by the same information for too many generations. We are often oblivious to the harmful psychological impacts that these messages create over time, compounding into an overwhelming amount of conditioning to undo.
To embrace a healthier and more balanced approach to self-care, you must be brave and patient to redefine your standards of health, wellness, and beauty in your terms. What do those words really mean to you? What are your standards for each? What’s realistic? What matters most? It’s OK to have a different definition from others, but make sure it’s yours.
Letting go of unrealistic expectations and focusing on self-love and self-acceptance, in its truest forms. Redefine your boundaries, state your standards, and take practical actions towards what all of this means to you. It is the gift that will continue to give back to you– as you engage in self-care by attending to your brain, mind, body, and soul.
Self-care is a powerful tool for personal growth and well-being, but remember to acknowledge its potential duality. By understanding your motivations and questioning your intentions of such pursuit, you can ensure that your actions align with your values and real desires for greater health and happiness. Embrace your approach to self-care, one that prioritizes self-compassion, authenticity, and the pursuit of overall well-being over external pressures or values of conformity. You’ll thank yourself for it once you feel the difference.
Example of simple mindset hacks:
Instead of, “I need to workout to lose weight.”
Try, “I should move today for myself and my energy!”
Instead of, “If I don’t workout, I am so pathetic” and feel guilty and barrade yourself all day.
Try, “If I don’t workout today, tomorrow is another day.”
Instead of, “I can’t eat a scoop of ice cream because I’ll be fat.”
Try, “Oh I don’t feel like having ice cream today, I want to nourish my body with natural quality sugars instead. I’ll have blended frozen berries instead.”
*This is not to suggest that you can’t ever have ice cream, it’s simply an example of how to reframe your thoughts to help set yourself up for success and also being kinder to yourself in general.
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